


Tell Me Lies and Let Me Breathe

by Cas_203



Series: Ashes to Ashes, Burned our Hearts to the Ground [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Brotherly Love, Frost Giant Loki, Gen, I Didn’t Do it For Him, I’ll make it better soon? Promise??, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Let’s Punch Thanos in the Face, Loki Feels, Loki deserved better, Loki is misunderstood, Not A Fix-It, Odin’s A+ Parenting, SPOILERS SO MANY, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Thor Feels, Valhalla, Why Did I Write This?, seriously so many spoilers, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-05
Updated: 2018-05-05
Packaged: 2019-05-02 18:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14550843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cas_203/pseuds/Cas_203
Summary: (MAJOR SPOILERS: PROCEED WITH CAUTION)———————————Time is short and he spins his words; uses them to plead and comfort and reassure in an eleven word lie- ‘I assure you, brother, the sun will shine upon us again.’It’s not until he’s being choked that he realises his words should have gone towards something else.





	Tell Me Lies and Let Me Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> The love I got for the first part of this series is amazing- I’ve never had so many clicks and kudos so quickly before. It inspired me, and this was born.
> 
> This was written while sleep deprived, as most of my pieces are, so let me know of any mistakes.
> 
>  
> 
> *takes a deep breath* LOKI IS NOT A VILLAIN, HE IS A MISUNDERSTOOD POWERFUL MUFFIN OF NORSE GOD WHO IS REALLY JUST A LITTLE BROTHER SEEKING APPROVAL FROM HIS FAMILY AND HE DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER HE NEEDED SO MUCH FLUFF AND THEN. THAT. HAPPENED. 
> 
> WHY.
> 
> (Series must not be read in order)

He is breaking.

 _God of Mischief, Prince of Asgard, Rightful King of Jotunheim, Loki Odinson_ \- the titles fall from his lips with finality that has his own hands shaking and tears threatening his eyes. Loki knows he’s going to die, knows he’s going to be turned into _nothing_ because Thanos had a knack for destroying _everything_ and, yet, he still allows himself to hand over the tesseract, pledge his loyalty as if allegiance would be his savior.

Thor is watching from the sidelines, mouth covered with iron _(and its cruelty, Loki realises, because Thor doesn’t get to say goodbye, doesn’t get to tell him that he’s forgiven (is he forgiven?))_ , and that makes it so much worse; it would have been easier for Loki to die knowing the sight of limp, dead, cold, cold body wouldn’t be burned into his brother’s mind, that his memory wouldn’t become another scar for the God of Thunder to bear.

Moments with Odin- his _father_ \- pass through his head, lessons in which both he and Thor were told to never show weakness to their enemies, to never cry or beg or plead or bargain, to hide fear in an iron fist and bury it deep. He recalls the way Odin said they should never surrender their power, never make themselves weaker while making the enemy stronger, but they should never seem too superior, either: a good King was balanced between strong and humble.

But Loki can’t _not_ surrender, can’t _not_ do the only thing he can to save his brother, so he accepts he fact that Odin wouldn’t have understood why he couldn’t help his eyes glistening or the way his words were full of measured pride as they fell past his lips, and he pleads forgiveness in his minds, anyways.

  
Time is short and he spins his words; uses them to offer his loyalty and draw attention away from Thor; uses them to plead and comfort and reassure in an eleven word lie- _‘I assure you, brother, the sun will shine upon us again.’_  As if there would be an _us_ , be a _them_ , Loki works his magic, his unmeasured talent with words a steady stream as he implies his usefulness, but it’s not until he’s being choked that he realises his words should have gone towards something else.

Struggling is something Loki should be used to.

He remembers similar occurrences, before New York. He remembers the pain and the tears and the way he was broken by Thanos- him, the man who pretended pain could never shake him, let alone _destroy_ him and shatter his mind. He remembers, and fighting against the beast a second time should be easier, but it isn’t.

The veins in his body are being pinched and his lungs are fighting for air, and Loki just wants a small reprieve. He wants a chance to swallow his pride and tell Thor that _yes_ , he was still family and always would be, that _yes_ , he would have stayed with Asgard and by his brother’s side if everything hadn’t been destroyed, that _yes_ , Loki was okay with dying to satiate some of Thanos’ anger and maybe stop him from destroying the universe, and he wants a chance to explain that he really only did it because _Thor was a part of that universe._

 _( **Not** _ ‘I didn’t do it for him,’ _, just_ ‘I did it for you.’ _There **is** a difference)_

He wants a chance to ask his older brother if he truly, _truly_ believes in Valhalla.

  
Loki doesn’t, and he never did.

_(he does, actually. He has visions of beauty and serenity that could blind you, music and books unparalleled and found nowhere else, an inexplicably vast amount of knowledge and happiness just waiting to be touched upon, his family warm and together and there with no threat of being torn apart)_

_(but none of that is imagined for himself, because he is a Frost Giant and not of Asgard- there’s likely no place for his cold heart, blue skin, tainted body in paradise. He would ruin the joy in the place, suck it dry without even trying. No, for him, he doesn’t know if there is an end)_

_(Loki isn’t sure if that should make taking his last breath easier)_

 When he feels it coming, he tries to turn his head, look at his brother- his _older_ brother- and maybe be offered the smallest amount of comfort, but Thanos is too strong, too _cruel_ , and Loki is too _weak_.

He dies afraid.

**Author's Note:**

> Loki was a complicated person to write, because during THAT scene it was evident he was struggling (he had tears in his eyes), and yet he managed to seem collected at the same time. If his internal thoughts seem a little OCC, I apologize. I just wrote him this way because I think he worried a lot more than he lets on.
> 
> Um. Tissues? I’m sorry for hurting you guys. Scream at me in the comments.
> 
> (More in this verse is probably coming soon!)


End file.
